Bassology 101

Bassology 101

Introduction to Bass & Other Things That Bite

Welcome to Dr. Stymie’s Lab, where fishing stories are considered scientific evidence, bait selection requires extensive experimentation, and every bass lost at the boat was, according to the researcher, “at least eight pounds.”

Bassology 101 explores the complicated science of water temperature, lure color, moon phase, bite windows, bass attitude, and the mysterious phenomenon that causes fish to stop biting immediately after you tell someone, “They’re absolutely hammering them today.”

Under Dr. Stymie’s questionable supervision, students conduct rigorous field experiments involving rods, reels, worms, secret sauces, suspicious attractants, and occasionally a beverage or two. Years of research have led the doctor to one particularly important area of expertise:

“I’ve spent my life mastering baiting.”

Possible side effects of advanced Bassology include buying entirely too much tackle, waking before sunrise voluntarily, referring to fishing trips as “research,” and estimating fish size with increasingly creative mathematics.

And remember, according to Dr. Stymie, the biggest bass are usually the ones with no photographic evidence whatsoever.

FIELD TESTED • SCIENTIFICALLY QUESTIONABLE • HIGHLY ADDICTIVE

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