Grillology 101

Grillology 101

Introduction to Applied Heat & Meat Sciences

Welcome to Dr. Stymie’s Lab, where fire meets meat, seasoning measurements are merely suggestions, and standing around a grill holding tongs qualifies as advanced scientific research.

Grillology 101 explores the essential sciences of meat selection, temperature control, smoke density, seasoning ratios, resting periods, sauce application, and the mysterious instinct that causes every grill operator to click the tongs together at least twice before beginning an experiment.

Under Dr. Stymie’s supervision, students investigate the fundamental grilling equation:

FIRE + MEAT + TIME = DELICIOUS RESULTS

Of course, Grillology becomes considerably more complicated once Dr. Stymie introduces his research into proper handling techniques:

“Proper technique prevents premature removal.”

Students quickly discover that successful grilling requires patience, temperature management, a trustworthy thermometer, good seasoning, and the discipline to stop lifting the lid every 45 seconds to see if anything exciting has happened.

Possible side effects of advanced Grillology include owning seven different barbecue sauces, developing passionate opinions about charcoal versus gas, referring to dinner as “the cook,” purchasing increasingly expensive thermometers, and announcing the internal temperature of meat to people who absolutely did not ask.

Dr. Stymie’s Chief Taste Tester has also confirmed an important principle of meat science:

If something comes off the grill looking suspicious, additional testing is required.

So light the fire, season generously, keep the beverages cold, and remember:

Low and slow is the way to know.

EXPERIMENTAL FLAVOR • DATA DRIVEN • HIGHLY ADDICTIVE

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