Countryology 201
Countryology 201
Countryology 201
The Scientific Study of Twang, Trucks & Three Chords
Welcome to Dr. Stymie’s Lab Music Division, where the research has left the laboratory, climbed into an old pickup truck, grabbed an acoustic guitar, and headed down a dirt road looking for something worth singing about.
Countryology 201 investigates the essential elements of country music: storytelling, rhythm, harmony, picking, songwriting, and, naturally, heartbreak. Because sooner or later, every good country song needs somebody to leave, something to break, or a truck that refuses to start.
After extensive field research, Dr. Stymie has developed the definitive country equation:
Guitar + Heartbreak + Pickup Truck = COUNTRY
Perfect for country music fans, guitar players, musicians, farmers, backroad travelers, porch sitters, concertgoers, and anyone who believes three chords and a good story can solve most of life's problems.
Research Assistant #001 serves as the official control group. Despite repeated experiments involving heartbreak, bad decisions, and questionable beverages:
THE DOG REMAINED LOYAL.
Possible side effects include spontaneous porch picking, boot tapping, increased pickup-truck appreciation, saying “this song tells a story,” and believing every relationship problem could probably become a hit single.
Dr. Stymie’s conclusion?
“Every good experiment needs a story.”
FIELD TESTED • SCIENTIFICALLY QUESTIONABLE • TRUE STORIES
Dr. Stymie’s Lab Music Division Trust Me, I’m a Doctor.
Gildan 3000 Light Cotton T-Shirt
- 4.45 oz.yd² (US)
- 7.4 oz. L yd (CA)
- 100% U.S. cotton, 30 singles
- Ash Grey is 99% polyester, 1% cotton
- Sport Grey is 90% black polyester, 10% cotton
- Dark Heather, Graphite Heather, Heather & Safety colors are 50/50 cotton/polyester
- Features Innovation you can feel. Made with 100% U.S. cotton and the latest breakthrough in soft cotton technology, the Gildan®
- Light Cotton family has been remastered for improved printability, quality and comfort you can see and feel.
- Modern classic fit
- Narrow width, rib collar
- Taped neck and shoulders
- High-performing recycled tearaway label
- Made With Respect Gildan partners with Better Cotton to improve cotton farming globally
- Made with OEKO-TEX certified low-impact dyes
- We reduce plastic waste by the removal of polybags from all products except color White
Gildan G185 Adult Heavy Blend 8 oz., 50/50 Hood
- 8 oz.,
- 50% cotton 50% polyester blend
- Heather Sport colors: 60% polyester, 40% cotton
- Pill-resistant air jet yarn
- Classic fit
- Double-lined hood with color-matched drawcord
- 1 x 1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Pouch pocket
- Tear away label
| Size | Body length | Full body length | Body width | Sleeve length |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| XS | 26" | 26" | 18" | 32 1/2" |
| S | 27" | 27" | 20" | 33" |
| M | 28" | 28" | 22" | 34" |
| L | 29" | 29" | 24" | 35" |
| XL | 30" | 30" | 26" | 36" |
| 2XL | 31" | 31" | 28" | 37" |
| 3XL | 32" | 32" | 30" | 38" |
| 4XL | 33" | 33" | 32" | 39" |
| 5XL | 34" | 30" | 34" | 40" |
Gildan G180 Adult Heavy Blend 8 oz., 50/50 Fleece Crew
- 8 oz.,
- 50% cotton, 50% polyester blend fabric
- Classic fit
- 1x1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Tear away label
| Size | Body length | Body width | Sleeve length |
|---|---|---|---|
| XS | 26" | 18" | 32 1/2" |
| S | 20" | 33" | |
| M | 22" | 34" | |
| L | 24" | 35" | |
| XL | 26" | 36" | |
| 2XL | 28" | 37" | |
| 3XL | 30" | 38" | |
| 4XL | 32" | 39" | |
| 5XL | 34" | 40" |